Kleine Beispiele für Textredaktion

P1030340Vorher:
„We did not decide which schools were to be repaired, but rather it was decided by the local people.“
meine Version:  „Not us, but the local people decided which schools to repair.“

Vorher:
Due in no small part to a willingness to be flexible on the part of staff in ‚Anywhere‘ and the support team in ‚Everywhere,‘ the new ‚Something‘ product to be completed in ‚Anywhere‘ was delivered on time.
meine Version:
The flexibility of staff in both ‚Anywhere‘ and ‚Everywhere‘ made it possible for us to complete the new product ‚Something‘ on time.
Oder (mit mehr Emotion):
The fantastic flexibility of our staff in both ‚Anywhere‘ and ‚Everywhere‘ enabled us to reach our goal: we completed ‚Something‘ on time!